I had a miscarriage: Part 1

Part of me knows that I'm not the only one who carries this story. I know so many of you have been through the same loss and all I can say is "Why don't we talk about it?".

This photo shoot was suppose to be for my pregnancy announcement this November.  I scheduled it when I was 7.5 weeks pregnant and we saw our babies heart beating. We were so thrilled and excited!  I knew I wanted to document this time, so I booked it! Little did we know what would come after that ultrasound and how different this photo shoot would end up being.

Yep, there was a heart beat and then 2 weeks later there wasn't. And I wish that was how easy it was. But "miscarriage" isn't just a word and then it is over. For me it was the most brutal physical and emotional torture I have ever been through.

I will be sharing my story over a few different posts. I hope to share my experience through my miscarriage so someone else doesn't feel so alone. And maybe this will also help others understand the depth of what "having a miscarriage" actually means.

I was 9 1/2 weeks pregnant alone in a room with the ultrasound tech who legally couldn't tell me my baby was dead inside me. But as you moms know, if all is fine with your pregnancy the tech is pointing out everything about your baby.

But not today. The tech turned the machine off and looked at me and said "I have to call your doctor and she will be in-touch". I already knew what my doctor was going to say, but I was hoping I was wrong. I waited and entire day for my doctor to call me, to relay the news that I already knew.

“Your pregnancy has stopped" the doctor said.

That is the nice way of saying "your baby is dead inside of you"

To be continued...